Change has been constant throughout my life. I was born in Vancouver, BC and spent 6 weeks in hospital when I was only three months old, due to a dual diagnosis of spinal meningitis and polio (I underwent two spinal taps). As a result, I was in constant pain as a child and as an adult. I received no follow-up treatment.
Before the age of five, my mom frequently separated from my dad, and when I was 4 years old, I survived 6 months (along with my younger sibling) in an abusive foster home in Alberta. In addition to foster care, my 2 siblings and I were always left with babysitters, and we only saw glimpses of my mother because she worked two jobs. We rarely saw our father, and then I was permanently separated from him when I was four years old.
Not long after this, when I turned five, mom remarried and I faced an abusive stepfather. He adopted me and my two other siblings, changed our names, and erased our past. We were never permitted to speak of it. I also moved twelve times before I quit school in grade 10. Home life was a most disagreeable environment, but the good news is that during this time, I came to experience spiritual adventures that sustained me throughout my life.
I experienced metaphysical abilities that others did not share, (or at least talk about), and I was told that I had an over-active imagination. I experienced lucid dreaming, telepathy, clairvoyance, and precognition. Due to my spiritual experiences, I kept going to different Christian religions for an explanation and support; but I was discouraged from embracing my gifts because I was told they were the work of demons. Every religion I contacted taught me that they had the only way to correctly access God and a spiritual life. They were wrong! Unfortunately I did not yet believe in myself, and my spiritual connections, until many years later.
Then, when I was fifteen, I was severely criminally abused. I was kidnapped and held with the intention of being sold into the sex-trade industry. With the assistance of a kind stranger I escaped, but due to the trauma, ended up with mental health issues. When I got home, my parents thought I was acting out of rebellion. They did not understand that my depression and behaviours were due to the trauma of abuses, so they encouraged me to just leave home. I soon discovered isolation and poverty, and could not interact well with others or look after myself properly; in order to survive I self-medicated with drugs and alcohol. Eventually I learned to somatise my stress and emotional/physical pain, which led to significant weight gain, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, chronic migraines, colitis (IBS), severe depression, intense anxiety and addictions.
When I was 20 years old, I contracted a rare blood disease and within a matter of a few days, all the components of my blood died. I was severely jaundiced and my urine looked like strong, black coffee. At the hospital, they gave me 7 blood transfusions and put me on a massive dose of Prednisone, along with other drugs. Prednisone may have saved my life but the 20+ pills I took per day, changed me physically and permanently. I was effectively given about 5 times the amount of steroid that is prescribed today in order to turn a woman into a man. This drug not only gave me a beard, but it changed the way my brain worked too.
About 16 years later, I married and had two beautiful children who have been my best influence for motivation to change and heal. The marriage did not last but motherhood did. I weighed 320 pounds, had plenty of health issues, but raised them on my own the best that I could under the circumstances. Although we lived in poverty, (because I was too sick to work), I was there for them in a way that my mother could not be for me. Not an ideal situation, but I believe the love and attention I paid toward both my children has paid off. They have grown to become amazing individuals who I am so proud of.
Read more and find out the inspiring conclusion to my story in PART 2.
